Bob Pollard's The Aristocrats

A prominent Los Angeles talent agent is handed a padded manila envelope. He checks the postmark, reads Dayton, Ohio, and sighs. The agent had been getting these packages with some frequency lately; about every nine months or so. He tears the envelope open and out falls a cassette tape and a homemade collage of breasts and airplane propellers. The agent flips the collage over and sees a list of 32 titles such as "Fisting in the Beerlight." Out of mild curiosity the agent pops the tape into his tapedeck and presses play. The agent can make out five or six voices on the tape over the loud hiss and sounds of clanking bottles. The men on the tape seem to be reading a skit based on some sort of family act. The agent notes that all of the voices are different from the last tape he received except for the man playing "the father." The agent continues to listen as the man on the tape describes despicable sexual acts involving microphone twirls, high kicks, and Pete Townshend over the 32 two minutes acts on the tape. "Thank God, Pete's deaf and will never have to hear this," the agent thinks. On the final track, the father character, who sounds quite drunk by now, yells for everyone else to "Shut Up." "Ya wanna, ya wanna know what we're called?" There is a 30 second pause as he chuckles to himself and someone drops a beer bottle in the background. The father character comes back on the microphone and shouts in a slurred holler: "The Aristocrats." Everyone else on the tape laughs as the microphone falls to the ground. Before the tape fades out, the agent can almost make out the sound of a grown man passing out and hitting his head on the coffee table.