New Theories

Since the Member's Only Jacket Theory is not really any kind of theory, just a series of observances and hilarious imaginations (see here, here, here, and here), I am unveiling a stupid, Seinfeldian, observational theory:
D'ya ever notice how right when the Verizon people put a huge stack of phone books outside the apartment building, it rains the next day? Then there are stacks of water-logged phonebooks that not even one of the men pictured below could rip. What's the deal with that?
So that's not funny, come back next week when we'll dicuss airline food, the OJ trial, and whether or not Michael Jackson is crazy.

A funnier theory:
Since I think that all dark haired, Italio-Jewish, teenage sidekicks should be called "Boner" like the guy in Growing Pains, here's a picture of Doogie Howser holding his Boner.