The Day The Music Died

Washington, DC - iPod, the trusted companion of Kenneth C Jones, passed away Thursday after a long bout with technical problems. iPod suffered a battery stroke yesterday at the Metro Center station of Washington DC's Metro Transit system. Jones shoved his companion into his bag resolving to fix the problem later as iPod does not have a health care plan. Upon arrival at his apartment/iPod E.R., Dr. Jones (known cheater with no time for love) noticed that the patient was exhibiting unfamiliar symptoms including a paleness in the screen area and flashes of this:

Angered, Jones attatched the device to several life support systems. Conditions did not improve. Medical texts were consulted to no avail. Jones had no option but to perform emergency surgery with a set of tiny instruments usually reserved for squirrel hip replacements. The surgery was sucessful in providing the iPod with enough power to continue spinning and displaying the "exclaiming folder" icon (which seemed to be shouting, "Thanks for all your files, they were fucking delicious! want this apple? nope, can't have it). Jones, having sated his curiousity for what iPod's guts looked like promptly forgot about his fallen companion and turned his attention to more important matters. iPod is survived by it's cousin, Pete's iPod and it's on-again off-again partner G4 Powerbook. No services are planned, but donations can be made to iPod's favorite charity, the "Buy a new iPod fund" housed at the Apple Store, Bethesda, MD.