Let's all go to the Lobby...and shoot ourselves in the face.

Aside from watching old clips of the State and Aziz videos on YouTube, I've also started to get a lot of joy from reading positive reviews of bad movies on Netflix. Here are some samples:
Hardball - "This movie really touched me. I've always loved the Matrix and always jump for joy when I find a movie with Keanu Reeves. It had a mixture of comedy, romance, and action. It was the first movie I've ever seen in which the children realisticly swear more than the adults. I especially enjoyed the youngest of the team swearing more than anyone. I can't wait for this to come out on DVD!"
Miss Congeniality - "This movie is GREAT!!! Also, I'm not into the freaky rough stuff. However, Sandra Bullock can handcuff and "BEAT" a confession out of me ANYTIME!!!"
XXX-State of the Union - "I liked this movie because it was so unconventional. Very unrealistic, but that was the point. You can just flow with the movie and enjoy it without having confusing plots to figure out. The team up of Samuel L. Jackson and Ice Cube was pretty interesting. Ice Cube showed us again not only is he a decent singer but a great actor! Great movie."

There are also negative reviews of the movies that I do like. Most are in the "Dude, do ya have to use so many cuss words?" vein:
Fargo- "I thought that this movie was very good. The acting was excellent, and the story was intriguing. I only gave it one star; however, because it was extremely violent and had extreme sex and nudity and language. Too bad people today think that they can't make a good movie without all the trash."

My favorite movie review ever is still credited to Peter W Anderson: "Legally Blonde?!?! I'd rather go legally blind."

People. People who love Keanu. Are the luckiest people in the woooooorrrrrrrld. (Because they sail along on their blissful cloud of Whoa).

I should point out that my parents see the worst movies ever released. Ever.

In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted that the author of this post owns all three Smokey and the Bandit movies, multiple movies starring talking thumbs, and will part with his DVD copy of Commando only when it is pulled from his cold dead hands.

An Excuse to Put Up a Picture of Steak

Jim Gaffigan was right, Steak is the tuxedo of meats (note that Steak deserves to be capitalized, like God). We had big steaks last night (photo to follow).

ESPN Pg2 has been upsetting me this week. Why do I even read it anymore? Admittedly there was an excellent Klosterman article and pretty good mailbag. There was also an idiotic article by Jason Whitlock (more like fat-lock) about how he dislikes the Sopranos because it make him think too much. I guess it take up too much of his time that could be better spent thinking of witty retorts to shoot back at Mike Lupica on Sports Reporters. Speaking of Sports Reporters, Simmons channeled his inner Albom when he wrote a column about the Clippers and how nice it this season is for their long suffering fans, awwwwww. Maybe all 5 lifetime Clippers fans will meet in Heaven someday.

Also, Michael Showalter and Eugene Mirman are coming to the Black Cat on May 14th. I might rather do that than go to the Ottobar. They don't mind if you're bilingual.

The fattest crackhead I've ever seen...

Courtney and I got three tickets for Jim Gaffigan at the Warner Theatre, Saturday April 22, 2006. We were just going to put our coats in that other seat, but then I had an idea. KC could come! That'll be $34, pal. Or you could just not come. We probably won't need coats, anyway.

Maybe get an autograph. Looks like he'll sign frozen dinners.


In Phillies news, they lost. 0-162: If you will it, it is no dream, dude.

I'm up for Phoenix tix.