Blatant...

ESPN took a sort-of-funny concept redeemed by its visual appeal, and ruined it.
ESPN Quickie cartoon

Now that's some plagiarism. I guess it's enough public domain/pop culture to make that irrelevant, and I spose untrue. Enjoy your afternoon off... (in Nap Dyn voice) lucky!

Punkin' Nipples

Yep, thats me. Your mom gave you butter made from my nipples for christmas.

Here's the Ted Leo poster:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=20148&item=3772364118&rd=1

I think I have exhausted all corners of the interweb.

Final non-sequitor: I started to read the best of McSweeney's Humor category book. It's pretty funny. Eggers does the Introduction and talks about how it was hard for them to figure out whether McSweeney's should be all serious/experimental writing or allow humor that would be slightly lower brow, before deciding they could do both. "We could publish both sorts of things, sometimes side by side, and often near articles about goats producing spider silk in their milk. But, we said, with heavy heart and fists of fury, we shall never publish poetry."

La Oficina

http://homepage.mac.com/elliottday/theoffice/whoareyou.html

I got Tim. I guess thats good compared to the other possibilities.

Agora, Inc.

Do you know anything about this company? They're hq'd in Baltimore, and claim to be a publishing company... I saw a couple of job ads that looked alright, but after a quick google search all I could find were articles on their preservation of Baltimore historic buildings, their eccentric, investment newsletter writing president in France, and an SEC filing against them for selling false insider tips as a newsletter. Sounds REALLY fishy, there's no "they're definitively a scam" or "definitively legit" pieces on them...

MD Bassetbawl

They did play last night and beat up on some crappy non conference team. Napoleon Dynamite was better than that would have been. I don't know about you but I'm still full from dinner last night. I also forgot my lunch today and have no money. Lunch might be a bag of pretzels. Yum.

Not that I care

But I was glancing at Apts. for rent in Baltimore... (should be noted, No lbs. of potatoes jobs in Baltimore), but the rents are dirt. We should never have moved to the crappy dominion.

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/apa/53636818.html

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/apa/53565672.html

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/apa/52800892.html

I was trying to look in Naptowne. Not really interested in moving anytime soon, but shopping is cool.

Kornhizzle

Kornheiser is pretty good today. "Pokey," "hoosegow," and "fekockteh" all make appearances.

I should probably go to the gym tonight pre-Jumbalaya. Mmmmmmmm. It's 7:30 in the morning and I want Jumbalaya.

The Mixology of Rock

Figured this is a good spot for "should've written that down" ideas... And therefore a good spot to start our theoretical drinks for the stars book. Just hope no one bogarts it. Hmmm... The bogart...?

I seem to recall:

The "Tom Waits"
Shot of gravel
Fill shot with 1 part grain, 1 part vodka
chase with live cigarette butt

I was thinkin... should these be theoretically "doable" shots? Like:

The "Tom Waits"
Fill chilled shot glass with crushed ice
Pour in cheap vodka until 3/4 full
Top with dash of grain
Light with cigarette
Toss back whole shebang

Note: Keep grizzled hobo-friend nearby to administer Heimlich or extinguish flames as necessary.

Modification:
Simple shot of room temperature rotgut.

Not that I'd want to, but at least it doesn't involve eating building materials.

The only thing worse than hearing Sean Salisbury...

Is seeing him. I watched about thirty seconds on ESPNews this morning before blinking and saying, wait, that's not Mike or Mike. That's a fat idiot in an orange shirt and some guy named Chris. Oh, to be a fly on the Shenanigans wall when Sean Salisbury, Rex Dibble and Mark Schlereth go out. I'm sure all they talk about is what wusses Jon Clayton and Peter Gammons are.

More Xmas prezzies:
Pink LaCoste
90s Trivial Pursuit
Banana Repub shirt
Pumpkin Butter

Guess which one's from my mom.

Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Blog

Tommy Wolfe, always up to no good. This is a better article than most.

Also, bought that J Crew coat, good because my moms didn't come through with her thrift store overcoat. Seems $15 was a little much to be spending on me. She said I got everything I asked for. I did not ask for a West Company(c) Desk Clock, a copy of(not a subscription to) Esquire magazine, nor an Old Navy doo-rag style hat. Who are these people?

Courtney's sis got me Halo 2, so I'll see you in Smarch. Until then, I'll be fragging the crap out of some covenant warriors, wearing my christmas sweatpants, my doo-rag, and both my watches, which will be synchronized with my desk clock like Parker Lewis.

Also picked up some Brooklyn Brown Ale, so you're off the beer hook for awhile.

Save Him Jeebus

Those apartments looked pretty sweet, and some halfway affordable. Some of them looked like subletting situations, hopefully Bill Brockschmidt has some property on Capitol Hill.

Mike & Mike has turned into Sean Salisbury & Other Guy. Not good for anyone. It can pretty much be guaranteed that Skip Bayliss and Stephen A. will be guests this week to continue the crapitude.

Make room heaven, there's another evangelical bigot comin' your way. RIP Reggie White.

Wire guy gets time

Or probation. Actually, he wasn't one of the dudes I had picked as a local. What is "go-go" anyway? I feel a little out of the loop not knowing what "Baltimore house" music and "DC go-go" bands are. Oh, right, I'm a honky. I also didn't know that the Wire hasn't been renewed yet.

Speaking of honky, George F. Will also has a nice column on why global warming is bs. His source is Michael Crichton, or actually Crichton's characters. Hmm.

Payload, Powertrain, Vapor Lock

Are my favorite car related words. I am currently busy watching my clock until it turns to 12 noon. I'll be furiously blogging until then. If, in your daily inter webbing you find a picture of those fine scotch glasses clue me in.

Thump... ljkmmlhhbgnmjjjgnbn

Sound of my head hitting the keyboard, then the product... This day is soooooo long. When will it end so I can get home and go to bed?

Actually, I am going to the Columbia general land purchase mall again this evenin. You're welcome to come, K of C, but I assure you I will be annoying, since I'll be shopping for minor relatives and especially cheap.

Boooo Pitchfork Again

It's not as bad as yesterday. I would like to see several of the albums from 30-21 moved up. The Arcade Fire CD isn't that old, I think picking that is kind of cheap. No Ted Leo. The list is only saved by this quote from "Good News for....": "Mr. Brock has a gloriously bad voice (there's one SNL appearance that wasn't lip-synced) but an amazingly brave and weirdly festive one; it's like vomiting confetti."

I Heart Obelisks

They were selling this at the concert that Brendan and I went to for more money than here. I picked one up for our apartment.
http://stores.musictoday.com/store/product.asp?dept%5Fid=553&pf%5Fid=WCAP13&band%5Fid=241&sfid=2

Tickets for their 9:30 Club shows (Feb 23 & 24) dont go on sale until mid January, I'll probably end up going. Sounds like they'll be recording the shows for a DVD. I'm cool. No lbs of Potatoes.

Dude, that is not the preferred nomenclature...

Sign in local #1 Restaurant:

Were open for Christmas's day!

Happy Holiday!

Due to weather, please close door hardly!

Har har har

I get out of work 2 hours early on Wednesday in the spirit of the holidays. It surely is the most wonderful time of the year. Now, if they gave me a big sack of money that would be nice too. Researching grad schools is less than fun, but still more fun than taking the GRE's will be.

Top Picks, F Witchfork

The Washington Post is weighing in... I miss ol' Davy Seagull, but this guy seems to have an ear.

Picks o' '04 (discussion, high noon)

What fun

Definitely sick again. I stole a Dayquil. Now we are 1/18th closer to being even for your atrocious crimes against orange juice. I also wore my furry trapper hat today. Twas fun, though I have not consulted a mirror to see if it was fun for my hairs. I think you know what I'm talkin' bout Eraserhead. If scrubs is a repeat, theres a good chance I'll be in bed at 7:30. blah blah blah blah snotfully yours.

Rufus thanks Michael Wilbon...

I've largeley weaned myself off the post.com chats, at least reading them as they happen, but Wilbon had two things of interest to say in his today:

"Michael Wilbon: Happy to be in The Chat House, after a weekend in San Francisco (watching the Redskins) and Scottsdale, Ariz. (watching football with Charles Barkley)..."

Maybe he is the gey.

Also: "I just signed a deal to do PTI for five more years." I guess I can stop holding my breath for Stephen A. to take his place. I'm debating, would I miss Wilbon?

If you haven't already...

Take a couple of hours and read the latest Sports Guy Mailbag, from Friday:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/041217

The Bumper of my SUV

Subtitle: Fat Mexico
Failing star writes jingoistic country song, combines with unapologetic red-state love of wasteful vehicles and a retarded medium of self expression (unlike, say, a blog), and when that doesn't work, conflates own self-interest with the righteous subjects of said song, and then, probably, lies about it.

http://www.tennessean.com/local/archives/04/12/63065885.shtml?Element_ID=63065885

Hey KC, Cold Enough for Ya this morning?

Har har har har har DIE!

Ghost Cat

Coldest morning ever. Checked weather.com when I got here 11 degrees, feels like -9. Apparently Metro drivers are as dumb as automobile drivers. The train took forever this morning and one train died at the L'Enfant station. I do not think I can make scary train/ghost sounds.

I am saying that exercize will resume today, don't hold me to that. It appears to be the beginning of a verrrrrry long day.

Albert Belle Jr.

There is a headline on ESPN.com about the Orioles being interested in Sammy Sosa. I am saying booo-urns. In a time when they only have money to spend because they dumped the contracts of juiced-up has-beens or barely-weres, you'd think that they'd know better. He will cost a lot. I can't imagine signing Delgado would cost much more. Ah well, it's a rat race in hell w/ these idiot trained ____s.

What would be the scientific purpose of killing this shark?

Revenge

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/asiapcf/12/16/australia.shark.ap/index.html

Ka-Boom

If it weren't at 7:30 in the morning. I'd say we should check out the Ol' DC Convention Center implosion (and push Brendan into the building). Also I am poor. That's really no fun but at least it will end in January, then I'll just be crippled by debt. Right back where we started like a stationary bike race.

B. Cunningham

Any word from this guy? He sucks.

Here's a picture of him and some fat guy.

I guess creating dumb controversy is his job.

"For most people, Christmas may be a time of peace and joy, but for Bill O'Reilly it's another chance to wage an us-vs.-them cultural war. O'Reilly and Fox News, along with a cadre of hard-charging right-wing talkers, have declared war on the anti-Christmas crowd. . . .
"During his Dec. 3 radio show, O'Reilly got more specific. When a caller identified himself as Jewish and began to complain about 'the secularization of Jews and about Christmas going into schools,' O'Reilly shot back that 'overwhelmingly, America is Christian. And the holiday is a federal holiday honoring the philosopher Jesus. So, you don't wanna hear about it? Impossible. And that is an affront to the majority. You know, the majority can be insulted, too. And that's what this anti-Christmas thing is all about.'

"At one point, O'Reilly told the caller, 'Come on, if you are really offended, you gotta go to Israel then.'. . . . "

Merry Chanaafestimas.

7:13 in the AM

It's waaaaaaaaay early. Good thing I joined the coffee club. I will definately need to use forsight and credit hours to take off on post-concert days. I really don't see at Ted Leo ends at 12:30, we get home at 1, I get to sleep at 1:30 or 2, I get up at 5:30 sequence happening. Only a mountain lion can stop the anti-christ. Coincidentally, I work right across the street from the FCC, should I go clue them in to take a look at last night's South Park?

DC Baseball: Catch the fever!

Washington is lame.
My feeling is, the DC City Council members have been disingenuous, and have pulled an A-Rod. They teased everyone in a hopeful city, then ruined the deal and followed the cash. And slapped someone petulantly.
Granted:
1. Mayor Williams did not negotiate the greatest deal with the MLB (He wears a bowtie almost all the time. Listen, I like bowties, but it's difficult to pull off without looking gimmicky. Williams can't pull it off and looks gimmicky).
2. Baseball deserves a swift kick. The owners are huge jerks, and it should surprise no one that they'll opt for the easiest, cheapest way out of owning the Expos/Nats.

Still. The Council members imply that scuttling the stadium will generate a windfall upwards of $400 mil. That's the money that won't go to the stadium, right? In the words of the guy in the Gillete commercial, "Wrong." That money doesn't exist until there are plans to build a stadium, and it was never intended to come from run-of-the-mill DC taxpayers in the first place, it was intended to come from businesses, who would theoretically profit from baseball in DC.

I know DC isn't a city without problems (it's no Baltimore - the city from which Peter Angelos is currently pointing and laughing), but flipping Bud Selig the proverbial bird won't solve a thing.

Thomas Boswell's WashPost Column

Welcome to the Kings of Contrivance weblog. Blogs are exercises in egotism, catering to, at best, well-informed but unreliable and biased news junkies, and at worst, the same people who send you 25 forwards a day, telling you to pray for lil Jimmy. Kings of Contrivance hovers delicately in the space between. This is the last time blogs will be discussed on this blog. Enjoy!